Tuesday, April 12, 2011

J is for Just for Laughs (11): Chinese Instructions

I am away from my regular internet connection for the next week so I'm blogging from my cell phone. I'm trying to visit other people's blogs but some of them just don't display properly on a cell phone screen (sidebars sit nicely on top of posts so I can't read them!). If you've followed me and I haven't followed you back yet, I'll get to that next week when I'm back home!

My boyfriend recently ordered me an e-reader from China. It's not a brand anyone would easily recognise, but it has all the working functions and was obviously a lot cheaper than, for example, a Kindle. ANYWAY, the point of this post is that I just had to share the hilarious English inside the User's Manual:

Thanks for your supporting bought the E-book. This manual has briefly introduced all the function of this E-book; you can use it breezily by your self. Pls fully experience the worthy enjoyment brought by this product. Read this manual carefully is necessary before using.

  1. Pls note after 2, 3 times fully charged and discharge cycle can the new battery achieve the maximum power.
  2. For the new battery, 3-4 hours needed after fully charged for the first-third times and full will be ok for the forth times, which can make the lithium battery reach the optimal power.
  3. In order to avoid leaking the document, suggest "user" prepare 1 copy of the important document. Especially before hardware upgrade. As our company will not be responsible for the document loss.
  4. The product is High-precision E-product, No fold!
  5. No throw, No bump!
  6. Avoid playing under the following environment: High temperature, low temperature, damp, dusty, magnetic strong and expose under sun for long time.
  7. Using screw down cloth to wipe the Player Shell, avoid use other chemical liquor.
  8. No damp or other liqour item on side.
  9. Keep proper volume to avoid impacting audition.
  10. Don't change any parts.
  11. Only use the battery, charger, accessories which permitted by manufacturer. Otherwise will disobey the maintenance rule and cause dangerous.
  12. Deal with the rubbish parts and accessories in accordance to local environment practice.
  13. Any problems occurred upon using, pls contact local dealer or direct to customer service centre of our company.
  14. Any alteration, will not notify. Sorry for inconvenience and hope can understand.

PS. I'd just like to add that I know English is tough when it's not your first language, and I don't mean to offfend anyone with this post. Heck, I could never even hope to speak/write Chinese! So this is just for a good-natured laugh :-)

PPS. I made a friend recently at a writing workshop and he's just started a blog. He's joining in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, even though we're already... 10 letters in (yes, I had to stop and count the letters on my fingers... don't laugh!). So go check out Grant's Big Blog and say hi :-)


Siv Maria said...

I think you are brave for just trying:)

Libby said...

Pretty funny. :)

Kari Marie said...

It never occurred to me to look into buying an ebook from another country. Kind of a cool idea. I often work with translations for my day job. Finding a good translator is hard, finding one who will turn your english into readable sentences in another language is harder. Of course, I work for a medical device company and the quality of our translations needs to be pretty high.

nutschell said...

hi rachel!
new follower here. Glad i found your blog through the a-z. I've seen instructions/signs like these and they are always good for a laugh. i think there's even a website where they post funny signs similar to this one. (engrish.com?)

Ellie said...

LOL. Those instructions are funny! No throw. No bump! Hilarious.

Ellie Garratt

Theresa Milstein said...

No throw, no bump got me too. As if instructions aren't convoluted enough, now there's a language barrier. Hope the e-reader works nicely.

Matthew Vanacore said...

Haha that writing is atrocious. Thanks for posting this. It was brilliant. I've got many a good chuckle out of it.

And I totally understand that you're not trying to offend anyway. You're merely bringing to light, a funny piece of literature!

Good stuff!

grant said...

Thanks for the link Rach :) I'm already behind my 2 posts per day goal. :( Type faster, dammit.

Anonymous said...

How funny! I especially like, 'No throw! No bump'! Priceless!

Cally Jackson said...

Tee hee hee! Love it! :-)